Donahue, a social worker, had been advocating professionally and personally for vulnerable children for decades, but that one parking lot conversation changed the focus of his life. His eldest daughter, whom he and his wife had conceived biologically, had had a relatively positive experience in the local schools. But when his two youngest daughters — children of color, adopted through the foster care system — entered their local public schools, he noticed a marked difference. His daughter鈥檚 pressing him on what he could do led him to realize that he needed to broaden his advocacy to include education. As a result, he established “Not Just Us,” a 950-member organization that builds coalitions of support for the most vulnerable children across Connecticut. Because, as he puts it, educational inequity isn’t just about any one family: 鈥淚t鈥檚 not just us, it鈥檚 about all of us.鈥�
Meet Brian
A social worker turned parent advocate from Rocky Hill, Connecticut, Brian Donahue leads his all-volunteer organization to connect advocacy groups across the state to support children of color, LGBTQIA+ students, children with disabilities, foster and adoptive children, and those from diverse economic and faith backgrounds. He began his advocacy work fighting for foster children’s rights and helping pass legislation to end child marriage in Connecticut. His professional experience as a social worker prepared him to navigate educational systems, but becoming the parent of children of color opened his eyes to inequities he hadn’t previously recognized.
The journey
Brian’s advocacy evolution happened in stages, each building on the last. First came foster care advocacy when he and his wife became foster parents, learning to fight for foster children’s rights within complex systems. Then, when Unchained At Last, a national organization dedicated to ending child marriage, contacted him for help on their Connecticut campaign, he spent two years of coalition-building before a state law was passed, outlawing marriage for all children under 18. But it was George Floyd’s murder and his daughter’s parking lot challenge that brought his advocacy closest to home. The contrast she identified was stark. While his oldest daughter had experienced schooling that offered positive narratives and mentors that reflected her background, his two younger daughters knew only “Martin Luther King Jr. and Rosa Parks” when it came to their own history. The school system was not diverse and did not spend much time informing students from diverse groups about their own history.
When Brian met with the superintendent about teacher diversity, the response was telling. The district had diverse books available, but only if students specifically requested them from the library. “My two youngest ones were in first and second grade. They wouldn’t know to ask for a book,” he realized.
His biggest brick walls came from systems resistant to change despite his professional social work experience. “You’re not going to disrespect my kids,” became his rallying cry as his daughters continued experiencing racism — classmates calling hair “nappy” and using racial slurs. When legislators in the area talked of passing laws to increase suspension and tracking of students of color, it was the final straw: “You are describing my children and a policy of not giving them educational opportunities.”
Making a difference
Brian’s approach centers on breaking down silos between advocacy groups. “We link all the advocates for different student groups together. Have them be able to meet each other, because there are so many silos and one group doesn’t talk to the other.” Through Zoom meetings that grew from Rocky Hill community gatherings to statewide events, he connects NAACP chapters, faith communities, teachers’ associations, parent groups, and other organizations dedicated to human justice rights.
His lightbulb moments with other parents often happen at these gatherings. One parent shared that when they requested a meeting with the superintendent about their child’s school experience, they were simply told: “No.” Brian’s response was immediate: “You have more rights than you know, and let me help you navigate this.” The transformation was visible — the parent understood they had the power to raise their voice.
Another parent learned that schools didn’t want to fund required services for their child with disabilities. “They thought, well, leave it up to the schools, they’re going to know my child just as well.” Brian’s message is consistent: while you hope schools will work with you, “their ultimate thing is to save money, so you have to know what your goal is ahead of time, and you have to stick to what you believe.”
Building movements
Brian’s wins are measured in empowerment rather than policy changes. “The win is when the family becomes so informed of the resources that are available to them, getting their community behind them, and going in and advocating for what their child needs,” he explains. He remembers one parent telling him after a gathering, 鈥溾�業 was extremely overwhelmed and felt extremely isolated within the school system in their community. But after attending your event, I’m leaving here a lot more empowered, a lot more connected.鈥欌��
The “Not Just Us” organization, which is hosting its 24th gathering this year, has gathered momentum and spread to more communities. His goal is to transform the school-to-prison pipeline into a “school to success pathway” for all children, regardless of race, disability, sexual orientation, or economic status.
Words of wisdom
“Many parents don’t really know the law. They trust the school systems.” Brian’s professional background gives him insight into how systems work — and how they resist change. His advice to parents: know your rights, know your goal before entering meetings, find and use your supports, and remember that while you hope for cooperation, you must be prepared to advocate firmly for what your child needs. “Ultimately, you’re going to know better what your child needs than anybody else.”
Get involved
“Not Just Us” operates throughout Connecticut through its hosting of community gatherings that connect advocacy groups and provide resources to families navigating educational inequities. Their Facebook group includes nearly 1,000 members working to ensure all children have access to inclusive education and success pathways.
This series was made possible through the valued partnership with National Parents Union.
